Living the dream, baby.

You know your a mom when...

1. You use the word "potty" with other adults. On a regular basis.

2. Your idea of "me" time becomes 5 minutes alone in the bathroom.

3. You find yourself eating fruit snacks while shopping.

4. When going out with the children feels like a vacation.

5. When you have guests over for dinner and you make sure everyone has the same amount of food on their plate.

6. You have time to shave only one leg per day.

7. When someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

8. You find yourself cutting you husbands sandwich into unusual shapes.

9. When you reach into your purse and find a pair of underwear... that aren't your own.

10. You lay in bed watching the Disney Channel for an hour before you realize there are no kids in the room.

11. When your shower is a privilege.

12. When you know poison controls number by heart and the local ER doctors know you by name.

13. When you catch yourself saying "certain" things as if it were "no big deal"... "Get your finger out of your butt crack and go wash your hands." ----- "Please don't wipe your boogers on my pillow."----- "Why are you naked?"----- "Please don't lick my face."----- "Stop choking your brother."

14. When every time you go to take a drink from you bottle of water you hold it up to the light first to check it for "floaters".

15. You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.

16. You have signed a check with crayon.

17. When you are waiting in line at the store with a gallon of milk and suddenly realize that you are rocking it back and forth.

18. When you eat the breakfast that is leftover instead of making yourself your own.

19. When you stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

AND

20. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job" but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything!